Inspirational Duniya

Life Coach #2 Understanding Force: Energy Enthusiasm Impact Intensity

Life Coach #2


Force.. Well I haven’t really seen this movie.. John Abraham might flash in front of your eyes given the name of the movie…

But, then what triggered me to title my article as force?

What My Life Coach Says..

It is one word.. actually one ‘daat’ (scolding) from my mentor Saleel ji… In the middle of a very deep discussion with Prasad and him, he suddenly said, ” Why are u stressing so much?” I was like am i? NO, I am not.. i am just being enthu

And as i Said , “No! I am not,”, I realized.. Hey i AM STRESSING!…

He replied,” What is the need to add so much force in your voice, in your thoughts… it makes one tired and stressed” , I said, “Ok, i will work on it.” I spoke the entire meeting enthusiastically ofcourse, but tried to minimize the push…. Well this was a physical effort from my side,, And that was it… We three finished our meeting and it was sadhana time… By the time ‘force’ was out of my mind….

Towards the end of my sadhana, during meditation, this word ‘force’ was continuously ringing in my mind.. not that it was troubling me.. as there was a serene smile i could feel on my face…

Going down the memory lane,

i observed…. since the childhood.. things, certain types of behaviour, certain basic expectations have always been ‘forced’ upon us… by be it parents,, teachers.. or unknowingly ourselves through subtle peer pressure, society, etc etc the list is endless…But look at the mind? it is so abstract that .. without us being aware such impressions which seem minor.. grow harbour and then show up in the most unexpected moments…

But then what? Why has universe thrown back this word to me???? There must be something to it.. I let it be…. didn’t apply any force or effort to think or let go or hold it further….

How did I get this impression of this word i am hyping so much ‘force’?

And lo and behold, shall i say ‘high’ and behold… the ‘force’lessness played its magic….!!

Actually true!!

We need force? why?

Try closing your fists tight tighter tightest…. what happens.. pains ? ain’t it? Now let go…. ahh! relief!!

Force is needed when? To hold onto anger… stress.. frustration.. But is there need of force to hold onto smile, happiness enthusiasm? NO! It is not… There is no point in veiling force under the name of enthusiasm.. Suddenly mujhe ‘chamka’ as they said it in The Art of Living vocab… Chamka!!!

All of a sudden, my mind totally let go… it totally let go of any sort of effort,… the word itself dropped out… now that i realized it wasn’t really needed… and i felt a grace and every cell of my being just relaxed and i let go to totally melt into the infinite…

And as i let go, i felt an unknown ‘force’ (yeah here it comes again ? ) take care of me.. just lighten me up…

and tadaaa — — the new me….

Still i wouldn’t say i am perfect at it….But this realization is half work done….

So working on it….

As my master says:

(In my own words) When we realize something, that is the first step to getting over it !

When I discussed this with my mentor he said, force is not applied out of courage but out of fear…

  • Fear of being ignored or not being heard.
  • Fear of others not agreeing to what you have to say
  • Low self esteem
  • Lack of confidence in the substance/ content of your argument.

Further pondering over this,

I thought yes this is true, we often confuse force with:

  • Energy
  • Practical Implication: When we do a high energy activity, we take it for granted that force is but obvious, but imagine of a state where your presence itself is energy, without feverishness.
  • Enthusiasm
  • Practical Implication: When someone says to us, xyz is a very enthusiastic person, we easily imagine a person jumping up and down all the time. But, is that enthusiasm? What is the use of such enthusiasm in which energy is uncontrolled…? True enthusiasm, is just being in an Yes! state of a mind.. Yes! to the positive… Yes! to overcome the usual tendency of the mind to doubt the positive.
  • Impact
  • Practical Implication: To make an impact, say in an interview, meeting or a debate, when the content doesn’t hold enough substance, then the speaker tends to use force! When the content is good and the conviction is high, no need to exert force in our tone and voice, in order to make an impact.
  • Intensity
  • Practical Implication: Inensity is focusing our energy, not necessarily to achieve a certain desire or expected result. Force is when we put energy with an expectation or feverishness to achieve certain outcome. In being intense mind is present, being forceful mind in future!

Something for all of us to ponder upon…..

Twisty, ain’t it?

Let’s get connected to the Self..

Originally published at on December 24, 2016.

Copyright @ Ila Awate

A Professional Life coach, Counseling Psychologist @YourDost

Instagram: @ila_awate_kip_shining_ur_light

Twitter: @ila_awate

Medium: Ila Awate — Medium



For more on My Answer to real life questions, stay tuned here 🙂

You can ask your questions in the comment box, and I will do my best to answer!

And the usual..

#WorkHard #PartyHarder

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#Blessed #Blissed

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Ila is a writer by passion & profession! She is also a professional life coach, a learning coach & a spiritual coach! Those who seek her guidance, always return uplifted with deep, transformational, practical insights and most importantly: with a smile! Her hobbies include travelling, listening soulful music, composing poems. She believes - "a smile in any given situation is the truest sign of success!" Keep Shining your Light. Medium: @ila.awate Instagram: @ila_awate_kip_shining_ur_light Twitter: @ila_awate My vision is to bring a smile to as many people as possible. To do that, I believe coaching and writing provide the necessary foundation, effective techniques and a wide outreach. Everyone need not have a psychological problem. Still, they need, in fact we all need, all the tools and techniques we can come across , to grow and keep reaching greater heights of success and exponentially explore the human potential.

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One Comment

  1. Amazing conception so precise, so serene, so much reassuring and so beautifully worded. A real stress buster.

    Thanks for sharing
    Best wishes #stay blessed, blissed and amazing as always

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